I’m writing from an empty tank, putting one word after another. If you know me, you know about the collapse and the chronic fatigue. But this isn’t a complaining post. This is about what pressing on looks like and how we do it when we’re at the end of ourselves.

First: What is the norm?

I believe the norm for the Christian life is to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. All of us are called to use God’s gifting to serve others. All of us are to do our work heartily, as if we were serving Jesus personally. All of us have a mission. These differ from person to person.

God gifts us for a reason.

Sorting out our giftedness and how we are to use our gifts in service is difficult. We may have a preconceived idea. We’re often not very self-aware. We usually have a flawed view of our own worth and gifting. And the harvest is always plentiful while the laborers are always few. As we’re praying for more workers, this means all of us are doing things that simply need to be done, because the laborer who was crafted for that task hasn’t figured it out yet and stepped up.

Second: What am I to do?

My recovery is predicted to take one to two years. When I think about pushing myself for that length of time, I want to curl up in a tight ball, pull the shades, and forget it all. But that is not an option. The power of Christ burns within me.

He has given me tasks to do. He has given me one day at a time. He has given me this minute.

I only have to step forward minute by minute. I know he will empower me to do what he has given me to do right now. And therein lies the rub. What, precisely, am I called to do? And what have I taken on because it had to be done? Where is the line? Is there a line?

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Have you ever faced this dilemma?

I’ve been culling and cutting and eliminating. When I look back at the enormous pile of responsibilities I had assumed before I hit the wall, I can barely believe I thought I could do it all.

Are you like me? Because you’re a capable and reliable people-pleaser, do you take on too much? Are you the go-to person?

As I look at the New Testament example, I see the apostles and church founders serving the Lord full-out, relying on his power and his grace. Daily they called upon the Lord; moment by moment they cried out.

This is the standard: Constant dependence on Christ.

I believe that’s where we are to live. Just outside the boundary of our own ability as we pour ourselves out for Jesus. He stretches us.

Where is the edge of me? This is what I’m attempting to discern with much prayer. To do this, I must keep my eyes fastened on Jesus. That is exactly how he wants it. We will always be right outside our comfort zone as we walk in his steps. And we will always need him.

How are you doing with this?