I want to stay on the mountaintop. I need to pound stakes into the beautiful place. Like David, my soul thirsts and pants for the living God. Like Peter, I’m ready to erect tents and settle in.
Let’s mark this spot, linger here, and stretch out this time of blissful communion, terrifying conviction, and revelation.
“Rabbi, it is good that we are here. Let us make three tents, one for you and one for Moses and Elijah,” Peter told Jesus (Mark 9:5).
Raphael’s Transfiguration of Jesus
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I go and meet with God?” (Psalm 42:1-2)
That’s me. Lord, let’s just plunk ourselves down right here.
Nothing need ever change. I’ll teeter in this exact spot of realization of my deep and abiding need for You, this place of crying out for Your help, mercy, and sustaining grace, this worshipful spot where my soul meets Yours in the most naked and intimate way.
Your presence can fill me to overflowing, exactly as You are right now. Lord, this is what I want all the time. It’s good that we’re here! Let’s stay.
But life isn’t like that.
Human beings can’t maintain the deep intimacy we find in Jesus in some of the hardest places or most glorious moments of human existence. We can’t put these in our pockets to take with us, to keep like photographs. We can’t awaken every morning in that place of blissful communion.
But, oh, how we yearn for it!
We yearn for heaven and for life in God’s presence. As C.S. Lewis said, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
This past winter, spring, and summer, I spent a lot of time in that place. We came through difficult trials, surgeries, pain, and a cross-country relocation. I clung to Jesus. His presence was the only way through.
And then, life became more routine. I felt better. The crises passed.
On the day I penned this post, I didn’t think of Jesus first when I woke up. Instead, before I even crawled out of bed, I grabbed my phone and looked at social media.
After I ate, I had my daily time in God’s Word. Most days I make that connection and linger over it, meditating and coming back again and again to that intimate time with the Lord.
But, on that day, I coasted through, not thinking of Jesus in the beautiful moment or the urgent need. I behaved in a detached manner, as if I wasn’t in a relationship with Him and He wasn’t shaping and overseeing my entire day from start to finish.
The Lord didn’t depart. It was me. I had wandered off again into practical atheistic behavior.
Do you do this, too?
Jesus is the only human being ever to live a life completely and totally preoccupied with God. My preoccupation with Him is far removed from that standard. It consists of moments of deliberate turning toward Him, rather than natural reflex. It’s made of Spirit-led moments of conviction and then reaction on my part.
Jesus lived a life totally preoccupied with God. My preoccupation consists of moments of deliberate turning rather than natural reflex. It's Spirit-led moments of conviction and then reaction on my part. But I want it to be the norm. Click To TweetBut I want turning to the Lord to be the norm, the natural reflex.
I want to be preoccupied, to be obsessed.
To that end, the cellphone has been relocated across the room from my bed. I’m adjusting my work and nighttime habits yet again. I don’t want anything to hinder me from interacting with Jesus in those first and last moments of consciousness, as well as throughout the day. That first and last turning of a day should be toward Him.
As I strive toward more God awareness, I know the Lord is tender with me. He knows that I’m but dust. This isn’t a heart transformation I can complete on my own. Only He can work this miracle in me.
I yield to the work.
How about you?
As I strive toward more God awareness, I know the Lord is tender with me. This isn't a heart transformation I can complete on my own. Only He can work this miracle in me. I yield to the work. Click To TweetTo find my faith-filled fiction, CLICK HERE.
I am thankful God gives me opportunities to draw closer to Him. I pray I don’t miss any of those opportunities, although I am sure times pass me by when I should be focused on Him and instead, am focused on self. My heart is full when time is shared with Him.
I so agree! Those times of drawing near to him are so precious!
Oh Melinda… I think you and I are kindred spirits of sorts. I can SO relate to this post. I, too, have grabbed my phone upon waking (it’s also my alarm), and then see those pesky notifications, and often begin my day checking my online life rather than my “inline” life with Christ. So, it is a battle, to be sure, but one I know is worth the fight. Thank God for grace. What would we do without the grace of God? I. can’t. even.
What, indeed? I so agree! We’d be sunk without God’s grace! Sunk! Thanks so much for sharing, dear kindred spirit!
Linda, I appreciate your insightful post. I too have walked through some hard winter seasons where the only thing that got me through was my desperate hold on Jesus. But as you share, once the season passed and we move into the abundance of spring or summer seasons we can so easily slip into complacency. I too yearn for a continual, abiding awareness of His presence, that dominates my heart and thoughts regardless of my circumstances.
I think we don’t get the nearness we crave until we’re in God’s presence on the other side. It seems to be a lifelong struggle or at least one that continues until we’re in those final days. My great-grandmother in her last days had lost all vision. She devoted the rest of her life to constant prayer for her large extended family and to meditating on the Scriptures. That may be the nearest we get to continual intimacy with the Lord until we’re eternally with him. What a day that will be!
Wow, wow, wow, Melinda! This SO spoke to my heart and soul this morning.
This….”Nothing need ever change. I’ll teeter in this exact spot of realization of my deep and abiding need for You, this place of crying out for Your help, mercy, and sustaining grace, this worshipful spot where my soul meets Yours in the most naked and intimate way. Your presence can fill me to overflowing, exactly as You are right now. Lord, this is what I want all the time. It’s good that we’re here! Let’s stay.” Beautifully said.
But we can’t maintain it. And Jesus never walks away, it’s us!
If only it were possible on this side of heaven, dear sister! What a day that will be when we see our Lord face to face! We can then stay in that place forever!
This post is just what I needed to read today. Thanks, Melinda.
I felt the same about your post, Heather.
Dear Melinda!
Thanks for sharing. Your post made me think about how much (or little) I think about Jesus. I do not think about Jesus all the time, most of the time I think about other things, and it’s not like I’m feeling guilty for that reason.
Your post also got me thinking about how differently we Christian approach faith. Some do it one way, others prefer to do it differently.
That’s a good thing, in my opinion.
Have a blessed weekend!
Edna Davidsen
Thanks for your comments, Edna! Yes, you’re so right. Each of our relationships with Jesus is entirely unique since we are each unique as human beings. God bless you, sister!
You’re welcome, Melinda!
My heart does long for such a closeness with God then I get stuck in traffic and say unchristian words at the car that cut me off. It hurts when I realize what I have done, again. I understand He writers words in Romans 7:20.
Yes! The very things we don’t want to do we keep on doing. What wretched people we are! One day we’ll be healed and whole and with Jesus!
I can so relate to this, Melinda. God meets us in the crisis. And we gladly meet Him there, too. But when it passes, we can easily go our own way. And we wonder why we feel empty all of a sudden. I’m back to work full time and life has been quite busy. I miss those times when I could linger with the Lord throughout the day. Interesting that you say the cell phone is across the room. This morning I rose early to spend sweet time with my Lord…I missed Him. I chose to leave my phone in my room while I came downstairs to be with Him. I’m better for it! Thank you for your timely post.
We have to be intentional, that’s for sure! Otherwise, all of the distractions come crowding in, especially with the challenges of work thrown back into your day! God bless you! Praying for you now!
It is good to be conscious of our need for Him and be aware of His grace throughout the day and be thankful. I do believe this is an action we have to practice and it can become more of a discipline. When I work on this, I find myself closer to Him. I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me in this.
Great observations, Cathy! You’re so right – we need to practice to make it more of a discipline!
Loved it Melinda. And yes, I can relate. Loved the honesty. “That first and last turning of a day should be toward Him.” We all need this recognition.
Thanks for commenting, Scott. Recognition of needing awareness of Him at the first and the last moments is key!
Great post, Melinda. We need to be so intentional to put God first in our lives–all day–every day. Thanks and God bless!
Nancy, thanks for your comment! You’re so right – entirely intentional! I’m seeking to grow in this!
This resonated with me – so my heart and experience. I so easily drift south…allow the rhythm and rush of life to consume my time. I’m also making those adjustments….because when a relationship is important, I make room for it. And He is so worthy. Thank you for another wonderful gift of a post.
Liz, thanks for stopping by to comment. It’s a universal experience. When we see him face to face, the striving will be over. Won’t that be a wonderful day!
I needed to read this TODAY in THIS moment. I could have written your words too. I have been doing so many things FOR God, but not WITH Him lately. I need to slow down and focus on Him more than I’ve done lately. I know the unrest in my heart would flee. Thank you for the reminders, Melissa!
Praise the Lord for his timely orchestration of my words and your reading! We must all be reminded of this frequently. Bless you, Alynda!
Unfortunately, I do find myself doing the same as you described. Just going through the motions of studying my Bible, more mindful of my routine and to-do list than of my Creator. I appreciate you sharing the changes you’ve been making, like keeping your phone across the room from where you sleep. Thanks Melinda!
It’s a common challenge, isn’t it! And it seems we must be purposeful and intentional, stepping always toward intimacy with Christ when he is our aim. Our natural tendency is to drift. Thanks for stopping by to comment.
You are describing how I feel. And how you stated this, “As I strive toward more God awareness, I know the Lord is tender with me. He knows that I’m but dust.”…makes me feel unburdened from the guilt I was carrying. What a timely reminder of his goodness. Thank you for this insight.
We all move in and out of this place while we’re bound to these human bodies. We see it in the writing of others. We recognize it in ourselves. No matter which interpretation we take of Romans 7, we hear it even from Paul. That’s why the comfort of Jesus’ love, mercy, and grace is the necessary and immediate balm we must apply. There is no condemnation now for those who are in Christ Jesus, not even when we’re fickle. His love covers even that. What a Savior! I’m glad this was timely and encouraging for you. Thanks for letting me know. That’s why I write transparently. The Lord won’t let me do it any other way.
I think I could have written this post, albeit with far less beauty. I totally relate to the feeling that I’m unfaithful to God. It pains me that in my desperate moments or at least in my needy ones, God is often not the first thought. I’m distracted. I’m preoccupied.
I think that reclaiming that closeness with God usually happens when I unplug and get alone with Him. Then I’m not distracted. I can focus. It’s similar with my wife. I don’t hear her when I’m reading tweets. Thanks for the great post!
You captured the universal problem in our loud world filled with technology on every side. We must be intentional to hear the gentle whisper of God. This is a universal problem. God bless you, brother, in your efforts.
This is so insightful. It’s so easy to coast along after the dust has settled, but I do long for an intimacy with Jesus as a norm. I do not want a last resort, crusis situation. You are correct. Thanks for this beautiful reminder Melinda.
Thanks, Brittany!