“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court” (Psalm 127:3-5 NIV).
This short psalm (a favorite of mine) contains the way to a wealth of spiritual growth. However, it wasn’t until my children were all raised and we’d been married almost forty years that I realized I hadn’t focused on the most important part.
My husband and I married young, and I was a pregnant teen twice over. Though far from perfect at that untried and untested age, and never having achieved anything near perfection since, we cherished our children and poured our youthful energy into raising them as best we could.
It was a privilege.
In those early years, we had to buck the norm for people our age. But, as far as we were concerned, these precious gifts from God were of far more value than any insignificant activity or experience pertaining to youth that we had “missed out on” or had to “give up.”
We had chosen the best part, and we knew it.
We knew that children were a gift from God, a heritage, and we wanted a large family. The Lord blessed us with six children – a miracle in and of itself when so many cannot have children. Raising a large family is an enormous responsibility. We devoted our lives to the task. The very presence of our children and our love for them equipped us and grew us. Our growth and unity were birthed in the joint challenge of raising them together.
We took every bit of our parenting seriously, so much so that we thought certain responsibilities belonged to us when that was not the case. Our fallback of trying to achieve this in our own strength revealed our self reliance and our pride.
In reality, our children belong to God. We focused on the second half of Psalm 127 – the blessing of many children – and assumed the first part was a given, not really understanding the implications or what this revealed about our heart condition.
However, the key to the entirety lies in the opening promises:
“Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves” (Psalm 127:1-2 NIV).
Only God can control the outcome. We couldn’t keep them safe from all harm or injury. No matter how well or how often we presented the gospel, we couldn’t guarantee their salvation. Through our tireless efforts and high standards, we couldn’t secure them a life with no hardship.
Both the granting of the children and the outcome are in God’s hands.
What if we had focused on the first part of the passage? What if instead of fearfully trying to protect them from every possible eventuality, we had realized that they belong to the Lord first and foremost?
What if we had stressed out less about trying to be perfect parents and had instead humbly admitted our myriad weaknesses and failings, praying for God’s wisdom and begging for his help?
What if sooner we had understood that God loved them and so would shape their lives through both good and hard circumstances, and would work it all together for their good?
What if instead of worrying in the night and overreacting over small concerns, we prayed, trusted God, and rolled over to enjoy peaceful sleep?
The Lord builds the house. He watches over the city.
We do our part. But his part is more crucial.
What if instead of worrying in the night and overreacting over small concerns, we prayed, trusted God, and rolled over to enjoy peaceful sleep? The Lord builds the house. He watches over the city. We do our part. But his part is more crucial. Click To TweetStill today – as the mother of adult children – this reality sinks in ever more deeply. I realize that we often do the right thing and then assume all will turn out well because we’re responsible people. We assume our wise decisions will guarantee a good result, functioning as practical atheists by not praying for God’s guardianship and protection.
We save the money, for instance, knowing it will be there when we need it, forgetting to pray for its safekeeping once we’ve done our part. But then, calamity and hardship come along and wipe it out, taking it away from our intended usage.
So it is with all of life. The Lord must provide, build, watch, superintend, and protect the result. Always. Even now. He must orchestrate it. Nothing is guaranteed. It never is. Only our future with him in eternity is truly secure.
This is a crucial lesson: To do our level best and to pray for the Lord’s watchful care over and above what we, in our frail humanity, are capable of doing.
Only he can do it. He is the Builder. He is the Watchman.
Trust him. Pray more. Worry less.
This is a crucial lesson: To do our level best and to pray for the Lord's watchful care over and above what we, in our frail humanity, are capable of doing. Only he can do it. He is the Builder. He is the Watchman. Pray more. Worry less. Click To Tweet
Thanks, Melinda. I needed to hear this. We know it, yet sometimes, for some reason, we forget. God has it all in His hands, so why should we worry and stress? Mamas don’t like seeing their baby’s prayers go unanswered, or watching them face life’s storms. I smile as I write that because I’m thankful for every storm I’ve been through for they have been the crucibles God has used to make me stronger and more like Him. Unless the Lord builds the house… Amen, my friend.
Yes! It’s so true! We have to learn and relearn this over and over. I’m also in the middle of what you just described. Some of my kids are experiencing difficult circumstances, and yet, like you, as I think on my own trials I see God’s blessings of lessons learned in each. So I know (in my head) that this will be true for them, too. Yet my momma’s heart. . . This psalm contains the lessons of a lifetime for me!
Such a great lesson for so many different areas in life. I have to be reminded that I need to labor for the Lord, because all other labor is in vain. I love how you said we need to do our part, but God’s part is more important. Sometimes we either think we don’t need to do anything because God will take care of it all, or we think we need to do everything because God is relying on us. But that middle ground is what we’re after! Thanks for this great truth!
The psalm is so rich, isn’t it! There’s so much there – literally a lifetime of learning the balance and the humility required in the joint doing and the trusting. Thanks for commenting, Emily! Those are great thoughts!
Beautiful words to remember. It can be so easy to try to control everything in life but we forget it is al, in His hands. And He is trustworthy and has better plans than we could imagine. I wish I would think about this as soon as the worry begins but I am a slow learner sometimes but I am trying
Yvonne, I think that’s the typical momma fallback – the human response. But then, we recall the truth, and we turn it over to the Lord. It’s a cycle. Over the course of our lives, we see the growth – we do it sooner as time passes. The growth is there. Thank you for commenting and adding your perspective!
What a meaningful message! So often I give my worries to God and then, take them back. Thank you for the reminder that in all we do and say, we should give Him the glory. Yes, trust Him more. Worry less. Amen
I think we all do that – I know I do. I must continually give those worries back. Worry less. Pray more. ? Thanks, Melissa, for adding this perspective!
Melinda, your post was everything you said yesterday to me and more! I’ve always loved that passage in Psalm 127.
I love so much about this message and especially these thoughts:
“So it is with all of life. The Lord must provide, build, watch, superintend, and protect the result. Always. Even now. He must orchestrate it. Nothing is guaranteed. It never is. Only our future with him in eternity is truly secure.”
I felt like we had the one-two punch going on the Trust God reminder. LOL. I’m usually writing about what I’m working through, so I found your post really encouraging and on point with where I was pondering and praying. Thanks for commenting, Karen!
Is the comment section working? It seems to be.
Melinda, such an insightful post. One of the certainties in life is we will always face interruptions, detours,trials. But as you write – another certainty is that God always provides, builds, watches, superintends, & protects through all seasons & circumstances.
Trusting him to do that should be easy then, right? But instead we forget to ask for his protection or do the opposite and take him for granted. At least that’s what it looks like in my life, unfortunately! Thanks for your comment, Anne!
This is truly convicting! How wonderful that God looks out for my children in spite of how wonderfully or terribly I raise them at any moment in time. Even better, I can take them to His feet and leave them there for Him to care for.
Yes and amen, Brittany! We can bring those children – no matter their ages and circumstances – and give them to the Lord, leaving them in his loving hands! There’s no way we can do it all perfectly, and we often don’t even know the way. But the Lord knows!
This is one of the most beautiful pieces. First, I had always glazed over this psalm- I never will again. I love your outlook on raising your children, and the fact that they are God’s children.
One of my favorite things you say is how we can save money, but we also need to pray over it’s safe keeping. *mind blown*. In hindsight it seems obvious, but I don’t think I have ever done that.
Thank you for writing this. I needed to hear this.
Jessie
Your Story Matters.
http://www.onelostcoin.com
Thanks, Jessie! I was also bowled over when I realized I hadn’t previously even thought of praying for the safekeeping of money in the bank! Unless the Lord guards the city … There is literally a lifetime of growth possible in this psalm.
What if’s can eat us alive, can’t they? Thankfully, there’s one for today, too: what if we trust Jesus today and stopped worrying about the mistakes of yesterday? Great post!
That’s a good one! It would be easier is the consequences didn’t linger for so long… Thanks, Heather!
It’s so easy to be overprotective and fail to put our trust in God to shape and direct our children His way – the way they need. I like this: “What if instead of worrying in the night and overreacting over small concerns, we prayed, trusted God, and rolled over to enjoy peaceful sleep?” This is especially hard for 2 people to do in unison. Thank you for your encouragement with scripture and your wisdom from decades of parenting.
Good point on unison! It really is a challenge! Usually one of us is in one place, and the other parent in another. Also a challenge. Thanks for commenting!