“What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24 NIV).
Rising, my flesh and the old self assert themselves before I am fully conscious. My broken body aches, and my battle-weary soul is dark. Morning is the hardest time. I stumble through the waking routine of bathroom, food, and tea. I feel alone, abandoned, and lost. This is the morning norm.
Medicine must be applied immediately. This soul was trained through years of bitterness, years of believing The Lie, years of self-sufficiency. I bear the scars. I am in rehab—years of training myself to think rightly, to believe The Truth, to trust God, to feel confident in his love for me.
Undoing the damage done by the battles I lost with the darkness takes time. It may be a lifelong fight.
Though I am a new creature in Christ, at the times when my guard is down my sinful nature attempts to wrestle me to the ground. The attack points are usually when I’m tired or in pain or inattentive. Like a wily opponent, my old self fights against the new, attempting to drag me back down the bitter, self-pitying path of darkness. I don’t like that route.
What to do?
As I go through my PT exercises, attempting to relieve the agony in my back and hips, I wash myself with praise, relieving the agony in my soul. 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman blares away, each song leading me to remember who I am, who Jesus is, what he’s done for me, and why I praise him.
Eucharisteo heals, applying medicine to the sarx—the flesh, the carnal parts of me.
“Jesus, you’re the only hope,” Mr. Redman croons. It is true.
“Could we live like your name is higher than every other power? Could we live like your ways are wiser than our understanding? Could we live like this? YES! Our God is, all he says, all he says he is. Jesus, in your name we could change the world. We stand in your love, in your power, all YOU say we are….We believe that your grace is stronger than all our faults and failures. We believe that your love is deeper than our hearts can fathom” (We Could Change the World, embedded below).
“We’re singing, ‘Yes, Lord! Yes, Lord!’ What else could we say?”
Exactly. It’s the only logical response.Truth and praise salve the wound. I rise from my stretches, having bent my body to the task of the day. I rise from my singing, having bent my soul to the challenge. Now to work.
“Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25a NIV).