I started 2014 by introducing myself and providing more of the story told in my author interview and my coming life story video. Trial, heartache, and joy were used by God to make me who I am today. If you’ve suffered shattering experiences, I hope this encourages you today.
Introducing Melinda: Blog #9
About a month after I committed my life to Christ as a thirteen year old, I suffered a personal tragedy. Destroyed and confused, I told no one. The shock and shame shaped the rest of my life.
My heart grew cold toward God as I stumbled through junior high, trying to recover. I didn’t know how to turn to him or how to process it; so I buried it and pressed on, not recognizing what was happening to me internally.
I quit bathing. I withdrew. I felt all alone in the world.
My sense of self-worth was decimated, my boundaries destroyed, and my relationship with the Lord grew distant as, year by year, I faded away. I didn’t know then that the remedy was to turn to Jesus for help. For the first time, he felt far away. When he sent help, I rejected it.
In this condition, I fell into moral sin. I made decisions that sent my life in a new direction.
For twenty years afterward, Satan kept me tied in knots, persuaded that God could never use me now. I had messed up God’s will for my life. Now, Satan lied, I would not be able to have the life God had planned for me. I had diverged, heading off into unmarked, unordained territory.
I was now out in Nowhere Land, outside of God’s plan. As far as God’s working in the world, my part was over.
This insidious lie, this supposed reality, crushed me to powder. I had loved Jesus since I could remember. I wanted to be used in his kingdom; but now, I thought, I was too dirty to be used. This devastated me.
I didn’t understand then that Jesus had a firm grip on me and that he was working in my life, overcoming the damage done to me and the damage I had done to myself. I didn’t know then that he was in the process of winning back my heart. I didn’t know how much I needed his help. He wanted me to know.
This lie kept me in anguish for two solid decades. I didn’t know anything then about the sovereign goodness of God. Christian writers of the day were part of the problem. One famous family ministry leader wrote that teenagers often make mistakes that “ruin” their lives, implying that it was all over at that point, irreparable.
Really?
Isn’t God the God of second chances? Isn’t he like the father in the story of the prodigal son? Doesn’t he run to sinners with open arms? Doesn’t he go after lost sheep, scooping them off the precipice?
The bible is full of such redeemed sinners. Isn’t it the same today?
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren” Romans 8:28-29 (NASB).
We tend to think this means natural disasters or circumstances outside our control, and it does; but it also includes every event that touches our lives, whether someone else harms us or, in our brokenness, we commit life-altering sin.
God knows about these things in advance. They don’t surprise him.
He’s not wringing his hands, caught off guard, saying, “Oh no! I didn’t see that one coming. Now what do I do? I’d better throw something together quickly.”
No. Think about it. We’re talking about the omniscient God!
Knowing everything beforehand, he orchestrates every event in our lives to accomplish his will, to bring good, and to transform us to be like his Son. This is one of the most glorious facts about our God! What kind of miraculous God can take all our messes and create beauty? Who but Jesus can heal our deepest hurts, our corrupted choices, and our deceived minds?
Romans 8:28 really is true. There is nothing outside the parameter of the Lord’s redemptive capabilities and grace. For this, we can thank him forever and ever. He uses it all for good!
So, if you’ve fallen far, if you think you can never be redeemed, can never be used, it’s a lie. Believe the truth. God is the God of redemption. He spilled his own blood to buy you back. He wants you for his own. You are valuable in his kingdom. You can help other people just like yourself. He knew you would sin, and he plans to use it for good.
Have you ever lost sight of God’s love, believing he cannot use you for his glory? How did he put you back together? For what can you praise him?
Featured image is by Salomon Ligthelm. Used by permission. Bottom photo licensed by Creative Commons.
Wow! I always seem to start out that way! I know! It’s just because your message (God’s message, really) has so effectively spoken to me! Melinda, this could have been written by me! It’s the story of my life, too!!!
Thank you for this great message, for obeying God, Melinda!
Love and sincere thanks!
Aunt Jackie
In looking back, it’s astonishing how wrapped up in deception I was. Yet, it’s such a common tactic the Accuser uses. I’m grateful that Jesus was sovereign over all of that, too. There he was at the Potter’s wheel. He did exactly what was necessary to break through the lies and bring me back to himself, a useful vessel, fit for his work.
Another great article! We know from Romans 1 that we choose to “exchange the truth about God for ‘the lie’…” This has played out in so many lives, and unfortunately, because of poor theological teaching, Christians are not hearing the truth. Thanks for putting it out there.
Lessons long learned out in the desert, as you know better than anyone else, other than the Lord himself, my love.
Thanks Melinda for crafting this one. The story of my life too. I am always reminded that the God of Israel, the one and only True and Living God, the Potter, works with us like the way He worked with Israel as depicted in Jeremiah 18.
At the Potter’s House (To be read in its entire context. Nevertheless, shows the heart of God)
18 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the Lord: 2 “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” 3 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the Lord came to me. 6 He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. 7 If at any time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be uprooted, torn down and destroyed, 8 and if that nation I warned repents of its evil, then I will relent and not inflict on it the disaster I had planned. 9 And if at another time I announce that a nation or kingdom is to be built up and planted, 10 and if it does evil in my sight and does not obey me, then I will reconsider the good I had intended to do for it.
“So the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.” He smashes the clay, kneads it again, throws it back on the wheel, and reshapes it. The Potter is good, and he knows his intentions! Thank you for sharing this, Reuben.
One further lie Satan told you was that you could not tell your own mother about this. You needed to be grabbed up in my arms with kisses on your sweet little head telling you that you were loved and that you had done nothing wrong. Satan is the Father of lies! I should have recognized the signs, but I checked it off to being problems related to puberty. Being a teenager is hard! Though your own mother may fail you, God will not!! Ever!! You were an amazing student and a beautiful young lady in every way! I’ve always been so proud of you! I’m am so thankful that you turned to God to put you back together and to assure you of His love! He will never leave you or forsake you! His love is eternal!
Yes. That was one very insidious lie. I remember the specific instance when I could have told you so easily, but I remained silent because I felt dirty. That was a damnable lie. As a victim I was blameless. What lies Satan entangles us in when we’re young, hurt, and unaware of the truth!
Melinda….I have started to read these. Blogs….this one “really” hit me big time…because I have since I have been in such a dark deep depression because of the do v o race……felt like at 56 it’s far too late for me to do what God had called me to do….the desire has been there deep within….I never lost that, just thinking I had blown all chance….
Nope! That’s The Lie Satan always wants us to believe. God intentions for you are GOOD! He loves you, and he has a plan to make beauty of this. He will use you to help others, and he will bless you abundantly. His love never fades. Isn’t that a relief!