Letter to My Husband

I still remember the first time I saw you, sixteen and mowing that enormous lawn. Love at first sight! We synced so fast! You were my first love, and my only love still. Any other boys were pawns in the match as you captured the queen and won the game. Like a force of nature, your intensity swept me into your heart and your arms.

EL Gringo via Compfight

This is your birthday, and you’ll always be the best man I know, even though I can get mad at you quick as a summer lightning flash. We’ve always sizzled and sparked.

How I love you – a faithful man who adores me with passionate unwavering fervor! You’re a rare blessing in this world.

Sometimes I have to shield my eyes from the glaring brilliance of your love. But it teaches me so much about Jesus – his pursuit, his intensity, his particular care with the intimate parts of me.

I can’t walk on water, but you make me feel as if I could.

david reid via Compfight

And now we’re closing in on sixty, married nearly four decades. How did this happen? It seems we’re just now learning who we are and how our cracked edges fit together so very nicely, smashed into one like a pile of broken china.

Why did we ever think we were invincible? The hubris of youth and the bastion of young love, I suppose. And why did we try to become plasticware, rather than sparkling broken glass? Naive, not biblically wise, but easily led, I believe.

God is so good to burn the plastic away, to relentlessly pulverize us with trials and blessings simultaneously, just to keep us balanced, lest we think it has anything to do with our abilities. He desires china not plastic, real humans not pharisaical ones, shimmering jewels in his crown not colored fakery, true believers not outward ones.

What if we’d never learned these lessons? I don’t think I’d like us.

And there you were and always are, through richer and poorer, sickness and health, loving me so faithfully when I’m flattened and dark during the pulverizing.

I hope my love does the same for you as we lean into the crushing to be molded, compressed, and shaped by Jesus’ love, for it never relents.

This is our life, and I wouldn’t want to live it with anyone but you – hot curry to my cool lavender, loud intense rush to my quiet languid resistance.

Often I imagine how we’ll be on the other side. We’ll see one another in dazzling and eternal perfection, our faces glowing with fervor and Christ’s radiance. We’ll love one another seamlessly – no cracks, no brokenness, no futile attempts at plastic.

You’ll understand me entirely, and I’ll embrace all your wholeness. We’ll be one – no shattering necessary.

You’ll clasp my hand, and we’ll run together, laughing for joy that we found one another on earth and now are privileged to love more wholly when face to face with Jesus.

We’ll accomplish much – cool as a light breeze, joy overflowing, burst of energy with no crackle of lightning, simply deep, satisfying, all-encompassing peace and love.

Always love.

Some photos from Fierce Marriage – great article, posts, and marriage support.