Thirty-seven years ago I was graduating from high school and wondering if my teenage boyfriend would show up for our wedding on May 28.
I was pregnant.
A majority of people we knew thought we should either abort our baby or place him for adoption, leaving us unencumbered to finish our college educations. My high school coaches thought my senior track season was more important than our baby’s life.
This is not how you want your firstborn to be greeted by the world.
As I write these words my stomach tightens and a crush of anxiety spreads across my chest. Even now, nearly four decades later, a sense of abandonment and loneliness aches in my heart.
It’s easier for people to urge expediency than to stand in the trenches with you when something this difficult impacts your life. It’s the easy way out for them, but not for you.
Some of my friends aborted babies that year; others placed babies for adoption, and others kept their babies. Once a young girl is pregnant before she’s prepared, she has lost something that is irretrievable. She will mourn the loss of her youth, the loss of her baby, or both. 
bies via Compfight
My boyfriend stood with me. Together we mourned the loss of our youth and celebrated the gift of our first child. We married at ages seventeen and eighteen. Around us wary eyes watched, expecting the inevitable failure and coming end of our marriage.
Hardly anyone expected us to make it.
But, only by the grace of God, we did. Our lives are like a passage of Scripture detailing the dismal condition before God transforms it all. Then these two words show everything has changed:
But God…
Someone—a campus church, Great Commission Ministries—welcomed us in. They explained the gospel to my husband. The circumstances had already prompted my repentance, fallen-away believer that I was. In community the elders and friends of our campus church helped us to grow and modeled Christian life for us.
They didn’t give up on us. They didn’t assume we would fail. They didn’t give only what was expedient. Because they invested in us, we battled our way through those early years, and we grew.
It was hard. It was messy.
But God changed everything.
By his grace we’re still married. And our marriage is good.
An investment in someone when they’re young and their situation seems hopeless can change everything. Can you give beyond what is comfortable? Can you believe God can transform the situation? Can you hope and pray and love?
Think about it.
I am holding this close to my heart today: “They didn’t give up on us. They didn’t assume we would fail.”
Thank you for writing these powerful words.
The unconditional love of people who expected the best was powerful. God used that love to change everything. Thank you for commenting, Joy.
My favorite words in the Bible are “But God…” because of the promises of new life & hope that we experience through Him.
So blessed to be able to watch your story unfold and unfold and unfold!
They’re my favorite words, too, Rita! It’s a blessing to watch your story unfold as well! We’re growing!
melinda….i know how this feels…i remember being in the same situation but all alone….all i could think of was graduating…i could not think past that at the time…when the day came to tell my parents it waas the hardest thing to do..but, they were 100% behind me…then 13 months later found myself in the same situation….thinking this would kill my dad i made a appt. for an abortion…i remember sitting in that room just wishing it were all over with. the minute i saw that dr. something came over me and i knew i could not go thru with it….head hanging low that night i told my parents once again…i felt dirty, just terrible…once again my parents were there for me ….my dad said talk in town was cheap and no one lived in our house and he really had the attitude that he really didn’t care what people said,,,i felt hope again…i am so thankful i did not go thru with it…i look at me son now and being a christian as all my boys are….i feel thankful and know the lord has called me to pray deeply for my children and my grandchildren…. but you my dear are a great inspiration…your o;d high school friend…ter
Thank you for sharing your story, Terri. I remember. Do you recall that I sewed you a maternity top and brought it back with me from Oklahoma at the end of the summer? I wanted to be supportive. I hurt for you then. Your parents were awesome! They were there for me, too, when I had to deal with so many people wanting me to abort my baby. Our teen pregnancies were one of the hardest experiences of our lives, but we lived through it, and God used it to make us compassionate women. Thank you for being my friend.
Yes I do remember our bringing me that top…I also remember our spending a few nights at our house…I so love reading our blogs the always encourage me….
I’m glad, Terri! It was tough, but God is good. He uses it all to make us more like Jesus.
You, my dear friend, were there for another young couple seven years later! Even though you and Tim were still struggling and figuring life out, you chose to reach out to Neal and I. Now, thirty years later, a merciful and loving God has kept us together and given us eight amazing children. Thank you for being faithful and loving like Christ. We both love you, and are grateful for all you did for us.
You and Neal were just as much a blessing to our lives, Becky! Everyone we love in Christ unconditionally through thick and thin builds an eternal relationship. You’re like a sister to me. 🙂 I love you.
Mel,
Thanks for being real. Real community is messy, transparent and life changing. Thanks for living this out. Love you much!
You are so right, Wandean! Jesus and the apostles were real. Seems like a good example to follow! Love you too! Glad to call you my eternal friend!