How do you keep a grip on your truest self? This is the challenge. In chaos and flux, it’s easy to lose yourself. When you’re unsure of yourself and under the scrutiny of likeminded people who want to nudge you toward their personal reality, it’s most difficult.
God created each of us to fulfill a specific task, to be a certain person. We are each a finely crafted poem, a masterpiece designed by the brilliant Creator. Every detail—from the number of hairs on our heads to the tears God keeps in his bottle—is significant. If we remain true to the gifts God has given and the calling he has on our lives, all is well.
We still face the usual challenges in growth:
- clothing ourselves with the renewed self, which Christ’s Spirit is creating within us;
- putting off the old sinful habits and ways of thinking, so we can live in this new redeemed way;
- growing to know God better, so we release our terrified, grasping attempts to be in control.
But if we remember who we are, who God made us to be—not who we used to be or who people expect us to be—at least we won’t careen through our Christian life in a perpetual identity crisis.
The problem often starts when our parents don’t see us rightly. Expecting us to be a mini-version of themselves, they might have specific ideas about who we are. To please them, we may morph into a template of them, rather than becoming our own self.
As we grow in Christ, we begin to realize who we truly are. We step out of the darkness and into the light. We recognize our gifting. Strangely, self-absorption is counterproductive in this process. Our truest self comes to light as we become more like Christ. As we are transformed into Christ’s image, our strengths grow even more vivid, and our passions become even more satisfying and apparent.
“If God himself has taken up residence in your life, you can hardly be thinking more of yourself than of him. Even though you still experience all the limitations of sin, you yourself experience life on God’s terms. It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life.” (Romans 8:9a, 10, The Message)
“Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!” (Hebrews 12:2-3, The Message)
With this in mind, I’m preparing for an important writers conference next month. Writers are a tribe with similar quirks, but we each have our own unique calling, our own voice, and our own way of crafting words upon the page. We should not attempt to become one another. We should not write like anyone but ourselves.
To prepare myself to hold onto myself, I needed a vivid reminder. And so, I painted my toenails brilliant iridescent sea-green—my favorite color. With toenails the color of the sea, I feel completely like myself, as if I have permission to be me. I know it sounds silly, but my toes remind me of God’s presence in me and his unique design of me. They are like an embrace from Christ himself,
In the winter, only I see my toes. As I prepare to be refined and critiqued by writers more skilled than I, every day when I take off my socks I am reminded that I am unique and precious. This is me, the girl with the green toenails. My toenails speak a message to me:
Be yourself. Be the woman God made you to be. Run the race!
It’s a simple thing, but it reminds me of my firm attachment to Christ. I will receive criticism. I may lose my confidence. I may think I have to become another to succeed. However, Jesus loves me and made me for his purpose.
I will be true to my calling. I will be true to my voice. I am resolved.
What helps you hold onto your individuality, to keep a grasp of yourself, to keep your eyes on Jesus?
I love that color! I struggle every day–not to compare myself as a mom–but even before I was a mom, I would compare careers, marriages, blah, blah, blah. To compare myself with other writers who are more successful!
Then I have moments of knowing that I am blessed with the perfect amount of what I need to serve God–I just need those moments to last longer (and they are–they used to be fleeting but now I can go days feeling like I am “enough”).
Be Blessed because you are a blessing!
I can relate, Renee! Hence the toenails. 🙂 Every time I pull off my socks, it’s like my heart gets hit with a blast of love: I am me! God made me to be myself! He loves me!
The things that I have suffered, strangely enough, are what helps me hold onto the individuality that God uniquely gifted me with. The first time I had cancer, the first words that came to my mind were Scripture: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you.” True to my weaknesses for remembering references, I had to get out my concordance to find where that was in the Word so that I could read more! I was desperate to hear from God. Aha! Isaiah 43. There it is. “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. (No matter what was ahead, I would not be consumed.) Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” These Words almost jumped off the page. I could almost audibly hear Him telling me these riveting Words! He LOVES me. I’m precious to Him! I always wanted to be precious to someone! I had nothing to fear for I was redeemed from the curse. I would be OK no matter what!! I was free to be me, and that was OK with Him.
Late at night, the day I learned of my cancer and the night before my surgery, I finally got alone with God to talk with Him about what I had learned. Finally, I told God, Words that I didn’t even think about being His own, came out of my mouth “I would that this cup would pass from me, but nevertheless, not my will but Thine.” And then, because I had quite trying to control, or ask why, or even feel sorry for myself, I submitted to His will and such peace overcame me that I went up to bed and slept soundly, the night before surgery, and entered the hospital at perfect peace the next morning.
The times following my surgery with Him were precious! So precious, that it turned the curse into a blessing. All things DO work together for good for those who love God. I feel in love with my LORD! It sets you free, doesn’t it, to know you are completely OK just being yourself. You are loved! You are precious!!
Of course, you are precious too! And loved! Maybe I need toenails that will continually remind me of these truths!! Love YOUR color, but it is yours!! Wonder what I should use??
Thank you for sharing that very personal account of when you got your cancer. I know it was a time of great growth for you! Anyone watching could see growth!
The toenail polish was something I had noticed before when I painted my toenails in the summertime. It was random. It was a silly thing, and I’m not really sure why it resonated with me. But, I felt outside my normal box for some reason and entirely me in that sea-green toenail polish. I felt this incredible love from the Lord and knew I had the freedom to embrace being me and to step into different arenas from where I had ventured before. So, my daughter bought me this, and I applied it for winter wear. Why only have this reminder in the summer?
Love it! Glad you discovered this special way to know God’s special love for you. God understands us so well!! And, He knows how to touch our hearts and set us free.
This is true! I love you, Momma. 🙂
Hi, Melinda. This is my first visit, and I came by via your Playdates link. To me it seems brave to venture out to a writers’ conference. I know exactly what you mean about writing as your own voice and not anyone else’s, though. Sometimes when I come across something I wrote years ago, I recognize, “I must have been reading __________ when I wrote this.” The signature nail polish is a wonderfully creative idea to keep yourself from being taken into that game.
May the Lord richly bless your time at the conference and give you at least as much encouragement in your unique style as He supplies constructive advice.
Thanks, Christina! With quaking knees, I will go, mindful of my green toenails. 🙂