Today I am depleted. The final editing of the novel coupled with my mother-in-law’s imminent death has brought me to the end of myself. My brain, my body, and my soul have been poured out, and I can do no more pouring today. I pray for strength in the grief and the loss. I pray for the words God desires on each page. I yield to his timing. This process refines me.
My novel is about the first murder and its effects on humankind. It seems appropriate to be swallowed up in death while editing it. What would I do without Christ? My emotions are frayed, and my brain is fried. During the creative process, I’m unable to “turn off” my brain. It wakes me long before dawn and keeps me tossing in my bed until after midnight. God is using it all up.
I am yours, Lord, do with me as you will.
I am crushed but not destroyed in this labor today. I am in desperate need of the good Shepherd. I write because I love him and seek to glory his name. I’m blessed to serve him, and I will be overjoyed to see him. I press on in this test.
Today, at this moment, how are you pressing on in the test He has given you?
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).