Today I am depleted. The final editing of the novel coupled with my mother-in-law’s imminent death has brought me to the end of myself. My brain, my body, and my soul have been poured out, and I can do no more pouring today. I pray for strength in the grief and the loss. I pray for the words God desires on each page. I yield to his timing. This process refines me.
My novel is about the first murder and its effects on humankind. It seems appropriate to be swallowed up in death while editing it. What would I do without Christ? My emotions are frayed, and my brain is fried. During the creative process, I’m unable to “turn off” my brain. It wakes me long before dawn and keeps me tossing in my bed until after midnight. God is using it all up.
I am yours, Lord, do with me as you will.
I am crushed but not destroyed in this labor today. I am in desperate need of the good Shepherd. I write because I love him and seek to glory his name. I’m blessed to serve him, and I will be overjoyed to see him. I press on in this test.
Today, at this moment, how are you pressing on in the test He has given you?
“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).
Know that I am praying for you–holding up your arms as they did for Moses–during this hard time. Praying for you and yours, praying for Tim and his mother. May she peacefully pass into the arms of her Savior soon. The novel is at a stage that you could spend a day in the lap of your Heavenly Father, being still and knowing, receiving His comfort. Love, much love, and prayers!l
I hope to take Friday, Saturday, and Sunday specifically for that rest. Then, Monday, Lord willing, I’ll start the final read-through. Depends on God’s plan for death and life.
Melinda, God’s timing is perfect. He will sustain you as you walk in faith.
Thank you, Janalyn, for the reminder. There have been many ways these trials have strengthened my edit and have worked for good in our family. You’re so right! He sustains, and his timing is perfect.
Sounds like a wownderful plan! You and Katherine should have a great time together since she has just finished those finals! Out of His glorious riches He does strengthen us by the power of His Spirit in our inmost being. He is all we need! Love you much!
Melinda, your words touched me so deeply. Although we don’t always sense it, these times when we enter into the fellowship of His sufferings are also our times of deepest intimacy with our Lord. May you experience the depths of His love as you apprehend the grace necessary to walk through these tough days. Take joy in knowing that His strength is made perfect in your weakness. Sounds like your “roots” are firmly established in Him. Grace, peace, and comfort be multiplied to you.
Thank you, Melody, for the encouraging words. These sufferings have, indeed, drawn me more tightly into his arms and increased my trust in him. I’ve grown in my depth of passion for my sacrificial, suffering Savior. He uses it all for my good.